Yesterday was an MDA day. I was only a year late for my annual mole inspection with the Dermatologist at MD Anderson. It’s not that I don’t like HER .. it’s just the humiliation of getting undressed and having all your bits and pieces looked at thru a magnifying glass. Really? You need that to be LARGER?
I was sure I had something newsworthy to share. I’ve always had a lot of moles, some of which dried up and fell off with chemo. Some of which are experiencing a bloom with spring time, it seems. I was SURE some of them needed to be whacked off, if for no other reason than they are being obnoxious and loud ..
So I was less than pleased to hear her say, “Uhm, no, that’s just aging .. “, “well, that’s just sun damage”, “no, that’s just a little benign ___oma” … Everything I pointed out as larger, growing, changing color .. UGLY .. she just passed over.
But THEN .. “what’s this little spot on your nose? How long have you had that?” And I said the magic words .. “it bleeds when I wash my face”. Now, keep in mind, that Tamoxifen (keeps me from getting breast cancer again, in theory) causes acne. So I have aging, teen age skin. Pimples. Nasty mothers .. which I use benzoyl peroxide on and I take Clindamycin for. So a little, tiny, mean, bleedy spot on my nose was no cause for concern to me, but the doc said it warranted a biopsy.
So .. she numbed my nose and took a sliver just to make the day more interesting. And she put a a big, round bandaid on my nose. Lovely. I’m not worried at all. The bandaid was way more frightening than what I found under it this morning. (*Turns out the spot she removed was pre-cancerous, so I have to be more careful and be seen yearly now.)
The thing about going back to MDA after spending so much of my time there two years ago, is that it’s like graduating from school and then going back to find the hallways are smaller and there are no familiar faces. My oncologist has moved on to a research position in Chicago. All the close relationships I had two years ago have devolved. The people I saw at my worst are now treating others at their worst.
I felt no sense of place at MDA yesterday.
And THAT was cool. I really am getting better.
No appointments until September and then in November it’s time for my yearly scan festival. Whoopee!